Isn't it ironic...don't you think??

Yesterday, as I picked Brenna and the little neighbor girl I drop off at day her babysitter's house for her parents (they have morning duty so I actually think I get the better end of the deal!) from preschool, I was chatting with them about what they did, what they had for snack, did they have any jobs....you get the idea.  The little girl started talking about taking a nap at her babysitters and how she disliked this.  I asked her, "Aren't you tired after all the playing and learning you do at school?" and of course her answer was...surprise, surprise..."NO!".  I then went on to tell her that parents LOVE taking naps because we are so tired all the time, but aren't allowed to because our children won't nap! But then I started to wonder WHY are we tired all the time?  And WHY is it that kids have so much energy in the first place?  Then it hit me.  I think children are "Energy Stealers".  That's right...why do kids have so much extra energy?  The answer is so simple!  They suck the alternative energy from their parents!!  It all makes sense now and I owe a HUGE apology to my Mom for being an Energy Stealer when I was little.  I thought to myself, "Wow...now isn't that ironic?"  Of course the minute I hear the word ironic I immediately think of the Alanis Morissette song with the same title and am magically whisked away back to my teen angst days.  For some reason that song always makes me remember one day in particular where a few friends and myself piled into my friend Andy's old Volvo, Mr. Plow, and drove up to Julian to play in the snow for the afternoon.  Another true irony. We drove hours into the mountains of Julian just to get to the snow, only to play in a relatively small pile of it for a relatively small amount of time before having to turn around and drive home.  We still managed in that small amount of time to have one of the most fun days!  I grew up and ended up in Ohio where I am now surrounded by lots of snow all winter long which makes me grumpy for 3 months a year and I wish I could magically be transported to a warm, sunny beach (and to add to the irony I grew up in San Diego surrounded by warm, sunny beaches). 

Anyway...I sang Ironic in my head the whole way home and I just had to laugh a little because for the most part this song is filled with things that I wouldn't really consider to be "ironic".  Granted, some of them like the 98 year old guy who won the lottery and died the next day, or the death row pardon 2 minutes too late or the guy who never flies in a plane his entire life, then takes one plane flight and it crashes, I will admit I do find irony too.  Pretty much all the other ones I wouldn't consider to be ironic.  Let me break it down:

• A black fly in your Chardonnay: Generally speaking there is more than one glass in a bottle of Chardonnay, so if for some reason a fly happens to land right in your wine glass, just dump it and pour a new one.  If this happens in a restaurant and the server is careless enough to still serve it to you, I am pretty sure they would not only get you a new glass, but probably comp it and most likely the rest of your meal!  Sounds good to me!!
• Rain on your wedding day: Last time I heard it was supposed to mean good luck if it rained on your wedding day!
• A free ride, when you've already paid: I am going to have to assume that she means the bus or train because I doubt a cab ride would ever be free.  Shame on her for not realizing this was "Free Transportation Day".  Most likely what happened was that she tried to get on the bus/train and the driver told her it was "Free Transportation Day", but she was too busy texting her friend to hear and ended up paying anyway.  How much could one ticket be though?  $2? $5?  Not really THAT big of a deal...at least not enough to be considered "ironic".  I would probably suggest her buying a bus pass since this is more economical anyway!
• A traffic jam when you're already late:  Sorry, late is late.  Even if there wasn't a traffic jam you're still LATE.  A traffic jam just means you will now be MORE late.  Although, honestly, I'd rather give the traffic jam excuse to whoever was waiting on me rather than the oops I shut my alarm off and fell back asleep causing me to be stuck in the traffic jam in the first place excuse.
• A no smoking sign on you cigarette break: Smoking is bad for you so you shouldn't be smoking in the first place, but if you do smoke, I'm not going to judge.  I would have to assume that even though wherever you want to light up is a no smoking zone, your employer probably has a suitable smoking designated area for you (aka outside).  Just go smoke there!  Unless of course you are smoking on your wedding day when it's raining outside which I guess I'd just say smoke a little faster, but then again you probably wouldn't be working on your wedding day therefore removing the need for a "smoke break" altogether.
• It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife:  Generally the side of your fork works just as well as a knife should you need to cut your food.  Or you could just go cave man and use your fingers.  Scissors, a saw or a box cutter could also be a suitable replacement for other non food items.
• Meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife:  Whatever home wrecker.  If he's married he's already the man of someone else's dream not yours.  Hands off.  There are plenty of other non attached men of your dream's swimming around in the pond!  If your crazy enough to shack up with this married man though, chances are he doesn't really have the qualities you would want in the man of your dreams thus disqualifying him from being said dream man.

Isn't it ironic....don't you think?  Sorry Alanis....not so much!!  Don't get me wrong, I still do really like the song.  If Alanis wanted to write a song full of true ironies she would have to first be a parent of her own because two of biggest ironies in my life I have discovered courtesy of my 4 beautiful Energy Stealers.

True Irony Number 1: When you are a child you will do everything in your little humanly power to prevent yourself from taking a nap.  When you become a parent all you want to do is get them to take a nap so that you can take a nap yourself.  If the planets do align and you get them down for a nap you either can't fall asleep or have too many other things to do because you spent your afternoon playing with your children in hopes of wearing them out at nap time, which apparently did not work in making them tired, but did succeed in making you tired.  This is only greatly compounded the more children you have because it is a rare thing of beauty when you can get them all sleeping at the same time!

True Irony Number 2:  On days when your children have school you can not get them out of bed in a timely manner even if your life depended on it.  I even have to set my alarm early to wake up and force myself out of bed in order to spend the next 30 mins screaming at another human being to get out of bed and then another 20 mins to do the things it should only take 5 mins to do.  It never fails, however, on the weekends, summer vacation, spring break, winter break and all federal holidays, when everyone can sleep in, they are happily up and playing well before the time they need to normally get up on school days.  Seriously?!?  Even Brenna seems to wake up early and on her own every Tuesday and Thursday.  Monday, Wednesday and Friday she wants to do nothing but sleep.  I'll let you guess which days she has preschool.

Now isn't THAT ironic....yes, yes it is!!